a few of my neighbors

There is an old man who has 4 teeth to his smile and is 82 years old and never remembers that we've met, but speaks beautiful English. He began to learn English in 1940, and he visited the US in 1997. He was a mechanics professor at my university, and though he retired 21 years ago, he still loves to talk about machine oscillations. I can't imagine all the things he's witnessed.

There is a lady who runs a snack shop in the market across from my neighborhood. You can point to whichever skewered veggies or meats you want, and she deep fries them right up for you. Her seasoned chicken skewers are my most favorite snack, and I pick a few up several times a week. I can always count on her to tell me whether I'm looking great or tired out that day, and she usually sneaks me some of her home-made spicy potato chips for free. When I told her that I'd be leaving this summer, and how much I'd miss her chicken sticks, she immediately told me she'd wrap some up for me for the trip.

Down the street is a man and his wife and little girl who run a small store that sells a bit of everything you might need. They work incredibly hard -- open something like 7am to 11pm most days -- and I have seen their shop expand and improve every few months. They deserve their success. The man delivers tanks of water on his bike all day long, carrying the 5 gallon jugs up to each apartment, but never fails, when I say hello, to have on his face the sweetest smile I've ever seen. Running into him riding around campus or my neighborhood was one of the first things that made me feel at home here.

There is a man who lives in my building who waits or runs to catch me if he is heading to work and I am heading to class at the same time. He wants to practice his English with an intensity that I've rarely run into. He works in one of the labs where the engineering students go to do their experiments. He is in his late 30s I think, married with a little girl, has a decent job and an apartment and everything seems okay but inside he is profoundly dissatisfied -- in his eloquent gestures: stuck. The other day he told me he doesn't visit his parents much anymore because they don't understand him. They will never understand, he says, that he must study English, must study new machine designs, must do everything he can to be prepared to take a RISK. I think he must have looked up the word 'risk' in a dictionary, because he stuck to that word with an unnerving passion and diction, spitting out the 'k' with great determination no matter how many other words I offered in interpretation. Quite a brave word that he seized upon; I get the impression that to feel the way he does is indeed of certain risk. Because should an opportunity for something more ever come, he is determined to be ready to throw himself at it with everything he has. He is enormously frustrated with the standstill of moderate achievement, and the utter lack of dynamic opportunities now that he has been slotted into a job. He tells me weekly that he thinks China is just a cheap place to be trained and turn out products and copies of things thought up elsewhere. That what the country needs is for people to come up with their own new ideas. His speeches to me are stilted for lack of vocabulary, but oddly expressive as he still manages to ram his thoughts out through the not-so-wide opening he has in English. I find myself in the strange position of defending China to him, more often than not, and our conversations always leave me sad.

hello from SUNNY Lanzhou!

Well, here I am again, woefully behind in reporting on my life and times in China. A full update on what I've been up to since December is just too daunting, so all I can offer is this wee recap...

** Roughest winter in 50 years in China -- caught bits of it in Lanzhou and then in Chengdu for our in-service training (very good times with very wonderful people), but escaped the worst of it in beautiful Thailand. Met Ben's folks, whose generosity and company made Thailand a blast. We snorkeled a lot, and did other beach-y things. Some photos can be found here. When we got back from Thailand we met up with Henry, Ben's good friend from A-town, USA, and went to Yunnan where we met lots of cool people from around the world and did some sweet hiking. A few photos here. Got back to Lanzhou just in time to sort things out for the semester and bundle Henry off to T!b*t just in time for the protests (whoops). Overall an amazing holiday shared with amazing people. **

The semester is flying by. Next week I give mid-terms, which is 100% nuts because that means that I have just 8 more weeks of teaching here in China. I teach British Literature to the juniors and I have to say that these students are so wonderful -- I teared up on the first day of class just telling them this would be my last semester here. I am so sorry that I won't be here to see them graduate. The class has been a pure pleasure to teach. Last year I busted my ass to get on top of all the literature, create lesson plans and materials and lectures... this semester it's all ready to go, and the students, for the most part, really seem to be digging it all much more than last year's classes did. I also teach a huge survey course of the UK and the US to the sophomores. Those kids are pretty fun too, though trying to keep 86 of them interested for 3 hours is exhausting. Still, it's really been coming together lately, and after the exam we'll move to the US, on which I'm a bit more of an authority, relatively speaking.

This semester I have been especially pleased with the feeling in my classrooms. I have been consciously stricter in some ways, but more careful than ever before to make the purpose clear in everything that we do. (Most days) I love the tone and mood that we've managed to capture.: comfortable, but very respectful, and always -- always -- lots of laughter. I know this is as much a testament to my students this year as to what I've learned over the last two years. I feel like they really trust me to get us all where we need to go, and are more willing to do what I ask of them than classes I've sometimes had in the past.

Worth mentioning from the last two months is:
-- a fabulous hike (and lovely weekend!) that Ben and I and Niffy did with the Rosses in southern Gansu a few weeks ago. Photos here.
-- the tortuous process of registering for the GREs in China: writing portion done, back to Xi'an in June for the math/verbal sections.
-- the weekly gorging of myself on hotpot; oh the food I'll miss when I leave!
-- getting to know the freshman who I'll never get to teach but who include some of the liveliest, most fun students I've met yet!
-- thesis advising; it is what it is
-- savoring weekends of doing and eating my favorite things, trying to store up the long lazy days for when I don't have as much time to just be

In two weeks all of the China 12s will be gathering in Chengdu -- all together for the last time -- for a conference to prepare for leaving Peace Corps. Most of the volunteers will be leaving on July 11th, but I won't be finishing service until July 25th. Except for those that live near me, I won't be seeing some of these people again, a sad thought for me because let me tell you that the China 12s are an amazing group of people. I've applied to help with the training for the China 14s, and really hope to be spending a week in July getting to know them and helping them prepare for Chinese classrooms and Chinese life.

I'd like to say a brief word about the globally escalating protests towards China. I can't speak to whether they are right or wrong; that's personal to those choosing to protest. But I CAN say that after living here for this while, I can all too easily put myself into the shoes of the Chinese, almost as easily as into those of protesters. China does not work like the United States; most Chinese would not want it too. A more collective culture remains here, despite the rapid growth and globalization that has been taking place, and the vast majority of Chinese have poured their hearts and efforts into the Olympics. It is seen as their true global debut, their shining moment of pride and accomplishment. The vast majority of Chinese that I've met are nationalistic beyond anything I've seen before, and most support their government. Lacking the protest culture of the West, for those Chinese that are aware of the international protests against China's human rights record, dealings with T!b*t, etc., these protests are seen as a direct attack on China and the Chinese people. An attack being pushed forward by the very western nations who, just 100 years ago, essentially shat upon China, committing outrageous acts of imperial aggression which are still a point of extreme shame to most Chinese. This does not mean that China deserves a pass by any means, but I do want to say that while I have grave doubts over the ability of the protesters to succeed in changing Chinese policies, I have few doubts that escalation of these protests, particularly at the Olympics themselves, will damage the relationships between China and other leading nations -- relationships that need to be strong as we face possible global financial crises and food shortages. To be honest, my brain flip flops on these issues constantly, but this is one side of the issue that I felt I needed to speak up about. For an interesting explanation of how things stand among (ethnically) Chinese youth: check this out.