Yesterday I was feeling pretty low much of the day -- listening class is very difficult for me to teach, and since I'm not having fun in there yet, the students certainly aren't. A day where I felt like a poor teacher, and hated everyone looking at me like I was supposed to know what I'm doing. I still don't entirely know how to work the lab equipment, & lord knows 5 students and teachers clustered around and talking at me in Chinese isn't going to help me figure it out. Just one of those days where it felt like people were yelling at me when they spoke Chinese to me, or treating me like an idiot because I couldn't understand them. Of course that's all mental, and wholey inside me. The people here are wonderful, even if the systems are sometimes frustrating.

Today is a very different story though! This morning I taught my "making decisions lesson" to my second section of seniors... first we did activities with moral decisions, discussed in groups but dealing with individual opinions, and held an informal debate. Then they made analytical decisions about business partners from profiles I'd made up, and both justified their rationale and tried to poke holes in their classmates' rationales. Talked about working with both advantages and disadvantages. Next class we'll go over the rules of formal debating, and in teams, prepare more formal positions having to do with global events. The following class they will participate in 3 half-hour debates. The class went down well, and when I walked outside, it was brisk but with a bright sun, an art exhibition up where I walk home, and students everywhere. One of those days that makes you so happy to be on a college campus. As I was entering my neighborhood, a little boy jogging past looked up at me and gave me a casual hi before sticking his hands in his pockets and kicked his ball on down the way. With all the wide-eyed stares and "Hellooooo"s that we're used to getting, this simple hello made my week.

I moved my friday afternoon speaking class to this afternoon, just for today, and with them I'll be doing identity. Brainstorm questions whose answers would really tell you who a person is. Discussion on The Incredibles (we watched that in listening class this week) and what it means to use words like special, fitting in, image vs. reality, a calling, obligation and desire, etc... Then: what does it mean to be self-aware? Read a Native American "I Am..." poem, talk about verbs that can really get at the heart of who you are (I am, I will be, I wish, I want, I hope) and then they'll write their own I Am poems and present them. Wrap-up discussion: happy with self vs. always wanting to improve oneself. Key english expression? "It's not just black and white." Ohhhh three hour classes -- so hard to plan for and keep up the energy, but you can really develop a lesson and carry it all the way through!

Annnyway, tonight I'll clean and relax and tomorrow (friday), lots of PCV's scattered around Gansu will be coming into Lanzhou for the week, or at least the weekend (national holiday)! I'm holding a big party to celebrate two of their birthdays, and because on saturday we'll have been in China for 3 months exactly!

[edit: Afternoon class went well -- lots of laughter early on, and beautiful poems from all the kids! Walked home with a student whose I Am poem was terribly sad... had a great conversation and she told me that they all really want to help me settle in here, they just don't know what I need! I told her what I need was to be taught how to cook chinese food. She said they all think I just work so hard (debatable) preparing lessons for them and they really appreciate it -- this from the class I thought I wasn't bonding with! I was just really touched. She took my number when I offered it and said she'd call next time she feels really sad.]